Episode 7: Being on Tour

Dear rams, I mean fans, and best friends

I have been doing my world tour for the last three monks, which means I have not been able to do any writing about myself other than my new rap lyrics because I have been very busy doing a tour and writing new rap lyrics. But now I am here at my slaptop writing a new episode of my life because I have a little bit of time between whores. I call my laptop a slaptop now because Raymond says it is quite a street way of doing things and also when you close it it makes a bit of a slap sound.

I just read that I wrote whores but I meant to write shores because I will so be going across the ocean again to another country. Gary Moray organises all of that though because he is my manager now. It probably will be North Korea, where a girl called Kimberley has recently died and I will rap about her funeral. It might be a bit sad, but no one will see me crying because I can't make tears after the magical magic that made me into Tinie Tempura.

I wanted to share some of my latest tour photographs with you so I hope that is okay. Here is the first one:

This is me with Mary Shoppings. She is in a film called Mary Goes Shopping. I am also in the picture with my friend Simon the Crocodiles. She is a crocodile from Pennsylvania and is does my tour coustimes for me which is what I dress up in during my shows when I get shows.

Here is another one:

This is me with Spiders Man and Gary Moray and Bernard the King. Bernard is the king and also an octopus, which means he has some legs.

This is my friend Wolverines from Wolverines 1.

Here I was in the club getting a little bit tipsy and having some mini crack.

This is a bird with what I did a bit of sex I mean hex. She was a big fan of Harry Plopper.

And this is the last picture of my tours so far and it is of me cooling out over in West Vagina.

I am in a bit of a rush now because I think Raymond is dying. As you know, he is a handicapable wasp with a blind in one eye. I do not want Raymond to die because he is my best friend in the world, even more than Gary Moray and all of you, even though you are actually all best friends of mine too. So please could you all send money to me to make Raymond better. He likes eating the papery money to make nests with. If you don't send at least sisty fix pounds then he will probably be dead. I think this is a Christmas appeal. Gary Moray said that often rappers make Christmas appeals to help people in need like orphans and disabled wasps to get money to pay for their wonderful lifestyles. So please help my friend Raymond.

The End.

Love Tinie Tempura xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx