Episode Five: Scouting for Girls

Hello Evry I mean Everybody!

It is me, Tinie T #newraplyrics <<< this is something I often do on my Titty page. I write a new rhyme or observation and then I say it is a new rap lyrics. Gary Moray has been telling me that this is what most famous rappers do when they are writing good raps. They watch the world and then write something about what they have been watching in the world for them to write about. And then they get lots of money and squeezes. A squeeze in an owned woman. I have been asking lots of Twitty girls to become my owned woman, but as yet I am still a single.

I am very very very very very very very veyr veyr eyvr veyr very sorry that I have not written a new episode of my life in so long. I have just been very busy with my celebrity lifestyle, which is what I need to work on if I am going to be a famous rapper. But now I am writing a new episode so you do not need to cry any more because I am writing a new episode. Currently though, I am having a sandwich. Raymond says that when I get a squeeze, it will be her job to make me sandwiches and also clean up after my poos. I made this sandwish myself though because I am learning to do cooking.

If I learn a bit more cooking I will be able to go on a telly programme with Gordfrey Ramsey and be a celebrity guest who says they do not want to eat mackerels. I will eat mackerels though because they are juicy. Gordfrey Ramsey is brothers and sisters with the Ramseys who live on Neighbours. Here is a photograph.

I could only get a photo of the man Ramsey because the others were too flighty.

Lots of Love

Tinie Tempura xxxxxxxxxxx

Episode Four: Building a Rep(utation)

Yo!

Raymond says I ought to start using words like 'yo' and 'penis' and 'holla' and 'negro', which mean 'hello' and 'penis' and 'hello/talk to me' and 'black person'. He says this way, people will take me more seriously as a rapper because this is how rappers speak to one another and their fans and best friends.

He also said I should wish people peace, even if I'm talking about using a gun. I do not have a gun though, because Raymond said I'm not allowed. He did give me a pocket torch though, so that I can find my keys easily. I sometimes have trouble finding my keys because my eyes are a little bit borken. I mean broken.

Raymond also said that I need to start networking. He was pleased that I made best friends with Gary Moray, because Gary Moray is so good at being famous and also at talking to celebrities, which is what I want to be, except for I want to do raps and not just show my vagina. Raymond says this is how most celebrities become a celebrity these days. I do not know what a vagina is, but I will do my best not to show mine to anybody.

Anyway, Raymond got me a Twitty. Raymond told me to say things on my Twitty to do with the important work I am doing to do with rapping. This way, people can be my best friend in another way! My name is Tinie_Tempura, because my name is Tinie Tempura, except without the little black line in between each word.

I think Raymond will get a Twitty soon because he is looking for a special woman to be friends with. Raymond says she will be a 'bitch', which I think is nice because I do not want Raymond to be lonely when I am doing rapping.

Lots of Love and also Peace from


Tinie Tempura/Tinie_Tempura, but only put the little black line between each word on Twitty because I do not like it otherwise.

Episode Three: Making a new Friend

Hello

Today I am going to write a thing about my new friend by writing about my new friend. He is a fox and his name is Gary Moray.

Gary Moray is already quite a famous fox because he does business with a lot of celebrities and is also a dandy as you may be able to see from the paisley neck tie he is wearing in the photograph I took of him while we were in the park just yesterday. Gary Moray also has a theme tune, which he uses when he makes special appearances on telly programmes like This Morning with Richard and Judy and also Rent-a-Ghost.

Gary Moray has said that I am going to be allowed to rap along to his theme tune when they make it into a CD. I will not be on the proper song, but on the B-side, which means BEST side and is what happens when you turn the CD over and play it that way. I have been practicing a lot for when we go to the recording studio. Gary Moray says we may even meet celebrities like Kelly Osbournes, and that's something I've always wanted to do because she is good at doing accents and also because her two pointy teeth look like a kitten's teeth.

This is a picture of a kitten in comparison with Kelly Osbournes, so that you can see how their teeth look:

Today, Gary Moray is trying to get me a gig. A gig is when there is an old-fashioned taxi that is pulled by one horse or two hice. I know that because Raymond told me. When I get my gig, I will ask Raymond to come in it with me, because he is my first best friend.

Lots of Love

Tinie Tempura