Hi. It is me, Tinie Tempura. Don't pretend that you have forgotten me, because that would be silly now that I am a major crap, I mean rap star! Did you see me nearly winning the Mercury Reward? That was a very special time and goes some way to explaining why I have not written any new episodes of my life lately.
For those of you which don't know, the Mercury Reward is a special reward for being a really good rapper and also because good at the periodic table, which is what the Mercury Reward means. I have been really busy trying to be really good at rapping so that I could win but I did not win which was sad but I am okay and will just try very hard again next year to win the Mercury Reward and be the best raper in the world. I mean rapper.
Besides being really busy do the thing I have said above, which were being busy trying to be really good at rapping so that I could win but I did not win which was sad but I am okay and will just try very hard again next year to win the Mercury Reward and be the best rapper in the world, I have also done about 10000 wees and a few little bits of other toilet things too. Also, me and Raymond - remember Raymond? He is my disabled wasp housemate who cooks me delicious meals like pears in syrup and sliced cheese. He looks like this:
I do not know where is the special camera that I usually use to photograph Raymond has gone, so this is an amateur photograph of him. Amateur means shit, which means poo poo. I think I have misplaced my special camera in my moving hices. I moved hices because I am now getting a bit more rich. Raymod I mean Raymond came with me because otherwise I would starve and probably be lonely. I have some more moany now because Gary Moray gave me a product to sell and when I sell it people give me money. The product is white and looks like flour, which is something you can make bread or glue from, but the product doesn't taste like flour, even though flour tastes of plain, and if you eat a little bit, you go fast.
Because I have some more money as well I have been able to exbland my rap merchandise. There in m=now a Tinie Tempura doll that you can buy and it looks just like me because I am Tinie Tempura, the famous rap star. Here is a picture:
If you would like to buy one, then you can do that. You just have to get in touch with me, become my best friend and lifelong fan and then give me 61 euros. I can accept Visas if it is made from food, because then I could eat it instead of using money to buy food.
Loves of Love I mean Lots of Love
TINIE xxxx
