Episode 1: London

Hello, I am Tinie Tempura.

I’d like to tell you a story about myself.

Recently I travelled to London, to make my fortune as a world-renowned rapper. With me, I took my suitcase on wheels filled with three pairs of tiny shoes, my hopes and dreams, a toffee apple, a can of cola and one of lemonade too.

I walked and walked for miles and miles and miles and miles, then I rested at a Little Chef and had one of the little breakfasts, which has only one tomato and one bacon, but I asked to swap the fried egg for another bacon because I dislike fried eggs when comparing them with a bacon. Then I got up again and walked and walked for miles and miles and miles. 

Then I got to London. I knew I had arrived in London because the streets were paved with gold and breathing was a bit more difficult. There were many people there, all of different ethnicities and weights, but all being best friends with one another. 

I found a houseshare to share. I am now living with a wasp called Raymond. This is not very dangerous, because Raymond is disabled. He has no lower half and a cataract in one eye

Raymond is very good at giving advice and he cooks me my tea because I only know how to cook toast. Raymond says toast isn’t enough to eat when you’re going to be a world renowned rapper like me.

I am very glad to be here in Longdong, which is what Raymond said I should call it, to go with my new famous rapper persona. When I settle in a bit and am settled, I will start becoming a rapper.

Lots of love from

Tinie Tempura

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